I need to refocus

I am not doing well with the program lately.
I think I should look for the positive first.
I am moving a lot more. I go for walks at least 3 times a week, sometimes very long ones. Before, I hardly ever walked.
My summer pants are to big. This should be a good thing, but I think it causes some sabotage. I don't want to buy summer clothes that will fit me for just a month. (the season is almost over) This is just crazy.
Yesterday, at the restaurant, I ordered pizza and ate a bit too much. But what surprised me was when I saw my daughter's plate with a lot of vegetables on it, I asked her if she had too much. Brocoli and carrots and turnips. They were screaming at me. Just like chips or chocolate. They were so good.

So why am I not following the Golden Rules? I can't figure it out. Rules 3 and 4 are the hardest. I eat so fast. I feel in a hurry all the time.

And I feel guilty. I spend too much time at the computer and DH doesn't like it. Even if I have done a lot of housework, and I go relax a few minutes, when he comes inside, I find myself trying to hide the fact I was at the computer.
Today, there was an open bag of chips and I ate them all.
I don't know what is up with me, but I hope posting will help me refocus.

Wow, I'm on the net !!

Hi, just a few words.

I have been struggling with my weight for a long most of my life. I remember that I was a bit chubby as a child and young teen. Then at 16 or 17, for some reason I was less hungry, and I listened to my appetite, and guess what? I lost a few pounds and became a slim 120-125 lbs young woman.

I wish I would have continued to listen to my body. After my first girl, I started to gain weight. I started to diet at 140lbs. I did Atkins, Richard Simmons, Weight Watchers (at least 4 times), diet pills (before my MD found out about the dangers) and a dieticienne. I ended up at 250lbs around 2000.

As a last resort, I went to see a new dieticienne who had a new approach. She uses the hunger scale. Nothing is off limits. I kept a food journal, and she would comment on how to make better choices. I was supposed to write my moods and reasons for eating, but wasn't really good at that.Her approach is good, but I kept looking for something more structured, like WW. I lost some weight, slowly and plateaued. Then my sister died suddenly in May 2006 and I started to gain again. I went down to 210lbs and crept back to 235lbs.She introduced me to a book titled "Mangez!" She said if she would have written a book on weight loss, that is the book she would have written.

Then in March, TLC started advertising this new show on weight loss. Another gimmick, I thought. But I watched it anyway. Wow! This Paul Mckenna made me understand what my dieticienne was trying to teach me for so long. He has a website, you should check it out. http://www.mckenna.com/ His program is explained and there is a forum with lots of support.

I started doing the program seriously June 1st. I lost some pounds. I have been slipping back to my bad habits. Eating to fast is one of them. Cleaning my plate is another. But bad habits are hard to break. Eventually, I'll beat them. Yesterday, I was ok. I followed each of the 4 Golden Rules about 75%. So, I'm not perfect. Who is?

I also started walking more. Not everyday yet, new habits are hard to break in!

Anyway, my dog sure is happy when we go out!