Céline et moi

When a commercial has the opposite effect than the one expected.

A commercial about a stressed out Santa's Elf surprised me.
This poor elf came home after a long, bad day, where he had to do overtime. When he got home, his smiling wife and family were waiting for him with a beautiful table with KFC on it.
yuck.
I thought I liked this fried chicken. But not when tired and stressed. I felt sick just thinking about the greasy chicken.

Maybe the reprogramming CDs are working! I wonder if I will ever feel like eating this again.

I have been slowly getting back to following the 4GRs. It seems something has fallen into place. French toast this morning without guilt. Leaving food on my plate. Eating more slowly. I hope this lasts.
I go see my dietician next week and I might stop after that. When I think I haven't lost weight, it stresses me and start thinking diet mentality thoughts. I have been with her for a very long time. I lost some pounds in the beginning, but I did the WW program at the same time and just couldn't keep it up. I got fed up of counting points along with the food journal where I was supposed to note where I was on the hunger scale, the emotions, etc. I should have just done what my dietician said. Then my sister passed away suddenly 2 years ago and I gained about 20 lbs. Seeing her on a regular basis has saved me from going back to 250 and then going beyond. But I am not sure staying with her now is in my best interest. I will have to think this through.

I would like to wish Happy Thanksgiving to everyone celebrating it.
Take care

The Pleasure of Walking

I just remembered that I enjoy walking. Since I started my swimming classes, I have been going less frequently for walks, thinking I was doing OK for exercise. Since I have been walking less, I haven't been following the program well either. And Halloween didn't help.
Walking is much more than exercise. It is a time to get back in touch with myself. Sometimes I listen to a Paul Mckenna cd, or just some other music. I always feel better after a long walk.
I get in the habit of waiting till it is too late to go out before thinking about it.
This is a new goal: A nice long walk at least every other day.
Another one is to strive to reach 10,000 steps.



Tomorrow is Remembrance Day in Canada. Thoughts and Prayers to the military doing a dangerous job trying to make this world safer. And for those who gave their life:

Reprogramming my Mind / End of 90-Day Journal

I was reading Paul's book today. He says there are basically 3 things that keep us from a normal weight.

1. Obsessive dieting
   
2. Emotional Eating
   
3. Faulty programming.

He was saying our minds are like a computer and that he could reprogram my mind ( with th CD) to easily follow the 4GRs, exercise and have a positive attitude, be happy, etc.
I must have really strongly wired or programmed by brain/computor. It is resisting reprogramming. It will be a long process, or perhaps not. Hopefully, Paul's program will find the password soon , and from there, my mind will accept reprogramming easier and faster.

I am at Day 90 of the Journal which I started June 1st. In three months I have lost 10 lbs. This year at my highest (in March) I weighed 235, today, I am at 221. To sum it up, in 5 months, I lost 14 lbs. I was hoping for more, but if I hadn't started the program, I would probably still be in the 230s.
About 5 years ago, I started on a weight loss journey. I was at my highest ever at 250lbs. In 3 years, I lost 38 lbs. My sister died, and I lost motivation and the lbs started creeping back up. So many times, I wanted to stop, but didn't. Even if I was eating to much, for all the wrong reasons, I always had at the back of my mind my nutrionnist who showed me a balanced approach to food. She taught me the principles of the food scale. She tried to get me to see the links between my emotions and the food. Without her, I would probably not have beleived Paul McKenna when his show aired. I am gratefull for the both of them.
Now I am 29lbs lighter than 5 years ago. I am starting to get in touch with myself and feeling better. 29lbs gone forever this time.
For others like me who don't lose fast, don't give up. Not everyone is the same. the younger people usually drop the pounds more easily than the over 50.

Tomorrow, I will start the Journal over again, wiith the intention of doing it better this time.

Many thoughts have been going through my mind lately. Trying to put them on paper (computor) is proving challenging. I'll just throw them in as they come along. Sorry if it confusing.

I haven't been following all the GRs properly. I have a feeling my body and my subconscious put me on hold - not to sabotage me, but to tell me I have other things weighing me down besides extra lbs.
The other day, I cleaned one kitchen drawer and trough out at least half of what was in it. Things I haven't used in years. I cleared the counter and cleaned it to. It felt liberating and I felt lighter. I have a house full of things I have been keeping, not being able to throw them out or giving them away. I should clear out a small spot everyday.

I have finally figured out that food hasn't been my biggest problem. But that is where my attention was focused when I tried to lose weight all the other times.

I think I finally truly understand that I am not on a diet. That food was never the problem, just a symptom. I don't usually eat very much (just too much for my level of activity) except when I fall into a bag of candy or chips.

I am carrying a load of emotions that I haven't been willing to deal with. Now, I am willing, but I am not sure how to go about it. I will find a way to do the mirror exercise. I will learn to be more self confident. I will use the tools Paul McKenna has given us (the Golden Rules, the CDs, the book, the journal and Forum) As I grow in self esteem, some problems will disapear, and the others I will be better equipped to handle.

My house is full of clutter that I don't know how to get rid of. It seems each time I am start clearing stuff, one of my daughters needs help and brings more stuff with her. When they leave, the momentum for cleaning is long gone. I joined Flylady http://www.flylady.net/ some years ago. She gives tips on keeping your house clean. She says anything can be done for 15 minutes. I should put her ideas into practice. It is like everything in my life, I get enthousiastic about something and then slide back into old bad habits.

I have a bunch of tv shows that I had taped on VHS. I have been wanting to transfer them to DVD. I want to do them perfectly, without the publicity. That means staying there while the DVD is being burned. So I haven't really started even though I have the DVD burner since more than a year now. Enough already. Just transfer the stuff as is, or get rid of the tapes. Good, a decision has been made :) I will start tomorrow, one tape at a time. It will feel real good to clear this away.

Right now my DH is redoing the floor in my youngest room. So all her stuff is in the basement family room. When finished, she will have a fantastic room. Marie-Jeanne wants the room done before she starts school next Tuesday, but it would be a miracle. My husband on his own.

I have all the tools I need to move forward. Signing on to a swimming class is good because of the exercise, but mostly because I now have a fixed appointment.

I guess I figured out that the weight in my head is the one that has to go first, the rest will follow.

Have a wonderfull day.

I need to refocus

I am not doing well with the program lately.
I think I should look for the positive first.
I am moving a lot more. I go for walks at least 3 times a week, sometimes very long ones. Before, I hardly ever walked.
My summer pants are to big. This should be a good thing, but I think it causes some sabotage. I don't want to buy summer clothes that will fit me for just a month. (the season is almost over) This is just crazy.
Yesterday, at the restaurant, I ordered pizza and ate a bit too much. But what surprised me was when I saw my daughter's plate with a lot of vegetables on it, I asked her if she had too much. Brocoli and carrots and turnips. They were screaming at me. Just like chips or chocolate. They were so good.

So why am I not following the Golden Rules? I can't figure it out. Rules 3 and 4 are the hardest. I eat so fast. I feel in a hurry all the time.

And I feel guilty. I spend too much time at the computer and DH doesn't like it. Even if I have done a lot of housework, and I go relax a few minutes, when he comes inside, I find myself trying to hide the fact I was at the computer.
Today, there was an open bag of chips and I ate them all.
I don't know what is up with me, but I hope posting will help me refocus.

Wow, I'm on the net !!

Hi, just a few words.

I have been struggling with my weight for a long most of my life. I remember that I was a bit chubby as a child and young teen. Then at 16 or 17, for some reason I was less hungry, and I listened to my appetite, and guess what? I lost a few pounds and became a slim 120-125 lbs young woman.

I wish I would have continued to listen to my body. After my first girl, I started to gain weight. I started to diet at 140lbs. I did Atkins, Richard Simmons, Weight Watchers (at least 4 times), diet pills (before my MD found out about the dangers) and a dieticienne. I ended up at 250lbs around 2000.

As a last resort, I went to see a new dieticienne who had a new approach. She uses the hunger scale. Nothing is off limits. I kept a food journal, and she would comment on how to make better choices. I was supposed to write my moods and reasons for eating, but wasn't really good at that.Her approach is good, but I kept looking for something more structured, like WW. I lost some weight, slowly and plateaued. Then my sister died suddenly in May 2006 and I started to gain again. I went down to 210lbs and crept back to 235lbs.She introduced me to a book titled "Mangez!" She said if she would have written a book on weight loss, that is the book she would have written.

Then in March, TLC started advertising this new show on weight loss. Another gimmick, I thought. But I watched it anyway. Wow! This Paul Mckenna made me understand what my dieticienne was trying to teach me for so long. He has a website, you should check it out. http://www.mckenna.com/ His program is explained and there is a forum with lots of support.

I started doing the program seriously June 1st. I lost some pounds. I have been slipping back to my bad habits. Eating to fast is one of them. Cleaning my plate is another. But bad habits are hard to break. Eventually, I'll beat them. Yesterday, I was ok. I followed each of the 4 Golden Rules about 75%. So, I'm not perfect. Who is?

I also started walking more. Not everyday yet, new habits are hard to break in!

Anyway, my dog sure is happy when we go out!